Now I was being objectified the same way. Misogynistic behavior often followed, apparently because they had designated me "the woman." I always loathed misogyny, long before I knew there was a term for it. ![]() ![]() To some men in my community, it seemed gender was determined simply by who was poked and who did the poking. I did enjoy anal sex, but I enjoyed kissing and cuddling so much more than intercourse. Other gay men put me in a box, proclaiming me to be a "bottom" simply because of my effete ways. I began to understand that gender and sexuality were not tied together. But so many of the gay and lesbian people I now knew never "read" as anything but straight. I had long believed that my effeminate nature, love of playing with dolls, and hatred of contact sports were just part of growing up gay. ![]() One would never guess the sexual orientation of these individuals unless you saw them in the company of their romantic partners. As I immersed myself deeper into the LGBTQ community, I encountered gay auto repairmen and plumbers, and lesbian florists and hairdressers.
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